new start.

so here we go... trying something new. where to start? life has been crazy...for a while now actually. so many changes. growing up is scary. it's hard to know where to go or what to do. i've come to the conclusion that my 20's have been my most awkward time in life. yet, i've come to realize that i have one of the most amazing families and some pretty wonderful friends that are and will be with me through anything. yet, although i'm not real sure why, i still have this unsatisfied feeling. society has made me feel as if i have to have someone to be someone. it shouldn't be that way. i want to be someone before i find someone. i feel like i try so hard to please people when i don't even know what makes me happy a lot of the time. i don't know why i put so much pressure on myself to make sure so many people are happy when most of those people are unable, whatever the circumstance, to do the same for me. i don't want to be selfish but i don't want to be walked on anymore either. it's not fair to continually give and be hurt time and time again. in any kind of relationship.
this year is a year to find myself. what i like to do. where i want to be. who my real friends are. i'm learning to say no. i'm learning to stand up for myself. it should be fun... i'm excited about my journey. :)